A ‘toxic person’ can be defined very briefly as the one that causes us discomfort when relating to it. That is, it would be the opposite of that relationship that brings us well-being, with which we enjoy their company and win because, ultimately, we are happier. The discomfort can come for different reasons: the toxic person manipulates us, spreads their pessimism, lies to us, etc. but what is common is that dealing with her, whether consciously or unconsciously on her part, causes us negative emotions.
The diversity of reasons that can generate discomfort is due to the fact that it also there are various types of toxic personality that we can come across in our family relationships, friends or social or work environment. To give a few examples, experts speak of a toxic person:
- Victim. He is always in pain and pessimistic in all situations. He is one of the most common toxic people and when dealing with them he infects us with his regret for his ‘problems’.
- Negative. He manages to convey his pessimism to anyone who approaches. For this person the glass is always half empty and can bring concern and a negative point of view to any situation.
- Possessive. It always tells us what to do and how to do it. It does not allow us to decide for ourselves and if we try, we probably do it wrong or do not approve of our decision or initiative.
- Selfish. She only thinks of herself and does not take into account the feelings of other people around her.
- Manipulative. He controls us or lies to get what he wants.
- Envious. She is not able to be satisfied with what she has because she constantly compares herself to others and always considers theirs to be better.
- Twisted. He is a person who gives a double meaning to things or events and twists them until they are deformed, always from a negative point of view. The normal thing for her is to think badly about her surroundings.
How to get rid of a toxic person?
- The simplest and most direct option is walk away andstop having a relationship with her. And it is that to avoid negative emotions and the bad environment that is generated near toxic people, there is no better solution than to avoid them, that is, to cut our losses if we have come to the conclusion that this person does not suit us because we do not brings us nothing positive in our life.
- But often this solution can be difficult to carry out if, for example, you are dealing with a family member or very close person. So another option is reduce contact with this person as much as possible. For example, if you are a friend, try to reduce the number of plans with this person or make sure that they are group outings so the relationship will not be so personal and direct.
- Let’s say that contact with the toxic person is inevitable and even frequent. So the next tip goes through knowing how to manage the situation with a key social skill such as assertiveness and that is defined as’ the ability to express our wishes in a friendly, frank, open, direct and appropriate way, managing to say what we want without threatening others. Negotiating their compliance with them. ‘ That is, assertiveness allows us to interact with others without allowing them to invade our space. Therefore, it is a key tool to know how to set limits for toxic people. In addition, we must work on self-confidence and self-esteem at the same time to gain strength and tranquility to treat this kind of people.
- And finally, Another tip to improve the relationship with a toxic person is to directly help them to stop being toxic. Try, with great patience and understanding, to turn it around and make it see that negative attitude that makes it a toxic person to work together. It is not always possible, but if that person is important to us it may be worth a try.